The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k;
A counterintuitive approach to living a good life.
Written by Mark Manson
Lets be honest, not all of us can follow a path of consistent happiness and positivity all day, everyday. And nor should we feel we have to.
If, like me, you read a lot of self-help books then it’s likely you feel under pressure to succeed purely based on the fact that you believe enough in yourself to “make it” and you can get yourself there – but only if you truly believe in yourself and the power of positivity.
I recommend you balance out the happy clappy vibes with a large side order of reality – in the form of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
What if your life is mediocre – forever? Who says you have to earn X amount of money, have motorbikes, cars, watches, holidays and perfect bodies to have a perfectly happy content life? Why are we not content with what we have? Maybe you could stop giving so much of a f**k?
By and large we suffer a lot of crap throughout our lives – some a lot more than others – but its to be expected and sometimes it is completely out of our control. That doesnt mean you aren’t in control of how you deal with the problem.
Mark Manson says F*ck Positivity, some things are f**ked up and we have to live with it.
Now, I don’t pretend know the answer to getting through things that are f**ked up but I do remember something my father once told me…
They are your thoughts so you can change them.
I hate to make things sound so simple but the truth is that we are in control of ourselves – if we want to wallow in self pity or jump around annoying the shit out of everyone with our chirpy attitude then it’s up to us.
I often get into a miserable funk and I have always managed to pull myself through to the happy side when I have adopted the “f**k it” type attitude and reminded myself that they are my thoughts and I can change them.
Mark Manson makes the argument that in order to survive life you have to adopt the attitude of giving less f**ks about everything.
I spend a lot of my time feeling guilty about things; guilty about working when I should be focused on my children or the mountain of washing in my utility room, guilty if I am cleaning because I should be working, guilty if I am watching TV because I could be doing something much more productive, guilty if I am walking the dog because I should be working….the list goes on and on.
I can’t possibly be the only person that feels this way and when I read this book I realised what a friggin hard time I was giving myself.
Mason writes that human beings are flawed and limited – “Not everybody can be extraordinary – there are winners and there are losers in society and some of it is not fair and not your fault.” He advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment.
“In life, we have a limited amount of f**ks to give. So you must choose them wisely”
I envy people that have the ability to not give a f**k. We all know one of these people – the one that seems to have the confidence to do whatever they want whenever they want – and they dont give a f**k what people think AND they get away with it and they seem to thrive and do really well.
So, when I’m doubting myself, or feeling down, or worrying about some shit that I shouldnt be worrying about I will try to simply not give a flying f**k.
Mark Manson has a simple grounded philosophy and his book is a gloriously refreshing read. Go buy it.
Kind regards, Livvy